It's been ages since i let myself out to write something that worth thinking about, i feel like the tiny bits of information finally oozing slowly upward together into a figurine of reality in my mind. I know it's late & i have school tomorrow...not that i have classes to attend to... Simply being put i have some free time right now. The right songs has been set for the right moment to shout out loud (Virtually).
NowPlaying - "All I Ever Want Is You (Original Song) by Megan Davies"
These feelings of mixture intensity colliding with each other within reality can really be a troublesome for the upcoming of "Anything". I don't even know if that particular sentence make sense ..it does to me. I feel like i'm on the pinpoint of a very steep cliff with my only two options to be consider, jump or jump. It's a double edge sword which i'm still holding it tightly then ever. I admit that i'm not that bright when it comes to these sort of stuffs, i let my emotions be the captain, lieutenant,general...what ever float your boat. I don't even know why, i'm willingly to let myself drown ..not in a hurtful way tho. The internal "Hope" of what if.. is Strong. i guess? schmuck. i should change the song now.. It's been on repeat for 7 times now or more.. who keeps count?
NowPlaying - "Helplessly (Original) by Tatiana Manaois"
Just as Tatiana sang it beautifully.. Why do i let you in my head? ♫ ..It's not like i'm hoping for something to happen, or subconsciously i want to, i don't even know.. can't even explain it to myself why i'm leeching onto you so tightly. Is this sorcery? or just a phase? Truth to be told, even by some miraculous act of divine power that we ended up together, I can assure you that she'll not be happy & that's a Fact. It's frustrating that i feel this way. Something unnatural preventing me to simply climb up and walk away..We didn't even have a decent conversation face to face and yet..I'm in this situation? call me crazy.
NowPlaying - "Reason To Love by Our Last Night"
At the moment, what i feel, what i want, what i need & what i think.. being an anchor for her boat. It's not like i'm trying to drag her down.. let me explain. I just feel like i owe her everything for something that i not sure about but i'm positively know it'd be worth ...I just want the connection we have right now to be limited because it's what she want ...I just need to be there for her for the storms so that she have something to hang on ...& personally i think this is the best solution.. being an anchor. It's not like i want to be with her, it's something i want to do for her. Honestly.
It's more than a gesture between a friend and less between something more(I think).
What do you guys think i should do? A helping hand would be nice..
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