there's this particular girl which kinda grew in me slowly.. day.. by.. day. i don't even know how & why!
we barely knew each other.. let alone.. experienced a real decent short conversation face to face.. 0% knowledge toward her real attitudes and personalities ...so knowing the little facts, you can perfectly state that i'm falling in blindly.. well i may hide some facts on why i am rigidly attractive to her.. but Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid, my mum might say. The thing that bother me the most is that there's a possibility for each passing days, that i might never have the courage to truly approach her, be close, be comfortable. do you get what i mean? ..isn't that a troublesome feeling? well.. i do have reasons to it.. to be honest.. experience wise. i tend to easily let go of.. things that i'm positively sure that can bring me a "longitudinal" happiness. yes. i learned that word in Psychology, might as well as use them no? ..maybe just maybe.. i'm scared of being rejected? OR falling in too deep until you reach the point where you are very vulnerable till you can't accept the true fact that fairy-tale relationship belongs only in the Disney's movies OR the impacts that may ...IF we were ever together.. & IF the relationship failed.. there's another reason for " Shattered (MTT Version) by Trading Yesterday " a song that i frequently listen to for a special reason that i might explain it on my next post, maybe ..this dilemma had me stuck in a cross-road with inter-sections & currently i'm scratching my head for the past weeks. should i give up? should i take the risk? or should i just go with the flow and keep doing what i do?..
well to further explain on what I've been doing for the past weeks.. is that well i don't even know if these are being considered as poems but.. yeah each of them are being associated with how i feel at that particular time.. basically the equation of my routine is that before i go to sleep i construct a poem, hoping she noticed it. i know it's lame but hey different people have different ways of describing their interest right? ..a new day a new poem, you could say...
so close yet so far
just another helpless war
thus hopes turn cream
i have you in my dream
sleep can't be delay
being with you in May
meeting the oracle
hoping for a miracle
be mine, be forever
i Love you even in fever
i know you'll care
cause you're my teddy bear
making moments in forever
living without you in never
routine poems will be my aim
until you are mine to claim
for you
willingly i do
another dawn another day
seeing you would change Monday
trust me trust this
won't hesitate to give you a kiss
waking up from slumber
noticed that i miss a number
here i define my emotion
with you i will feel no caution
on the brink of dawn i sleep
making poems for you to keep
from words with meaning
for you as my beginning
seeing Winter Is Coming
another reason for hugging
holding you till dawn
making sure there's no frown
warmth will be felt
cold hand, melt
23rd, there's something
lunar activity, our thing
go outside stare the sky
see yourself how big i try
your attention
perfection
tipsy thoughts before slumber
i haven't even got your number
use imagination within reality
see you in my dream, little pretty
words being alter
intention going further
late night brain storming
made poem for keeping
your awake, i sleep
leaving words for u to deep
walking toward the first glance
creating forward my only chance.
staring down looking aside.
getting close just beside.
in seven.
heaven.
..dreams.
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